5 Ways of Not Losing Friends After Marriage

One of the many side effects of marriage essentially entails losing one’s dear friends. And, in recovering from the sorrow of estrangement from paternal members, it is left as a wound that seldom heals. With time, friends with whom every wish was shared, are reduced to disregarded phone numbers and the several cherished moments take up cozy corners in the dark recesses of the mind.Continue reading

Positive Effects of Divorce on Children: Exploring the After-Effects

A familiar proverb state, “Better be alone than in bad company.” Well, the distressing reality of a divorce can perhaps be interpreted in a similar way. The separation of parents is indeed a painful affair for a kid, but what about the trauma that he may have endured due to daily bickering, the ceaseless hurling of mean abuses and at times, even fatal domestic violence between emotionally estranged parents? It then becomes imperative for the child that such uncompromising parents get alienated by a divorce.

How many children are affected by divorce: Examining the statistics

Several reports claim that nearly 50% of American children, born at present, are likely to witness parental divorce even before they turn 18. According to another research, one, out of ten kids of divorced parents, may witness them getting divorced again about three or more times!

This article seeks to analyze the positive consequences of divorce on children so that the experience, even though bitter, can be calmly accepted and survived.

The positive impact of divorce on children: An estimation

Assures a healthy environment: Recurrent observation of squabbles and ego clashes between parents builds up irritation and dejection in a child, eventually morphing him into a perpetually disconcerted individual, a misfit in any society.  A divorce signifies a permanent termination of such power struggles and the child being distanced, no longer has to cringe in seclusion or make plaintive attempts to douse the bitter outburst. In fact, except the prickling remembrance of the split, there is nothing that can impede his natural emotional growth.

Aids in psychological growth: Often, it has been observed that children that go through the divorce of parents emerge more mature than those, nurtured amidst the protective guidance of both parents. While tackling unhappy parents, a child learns the bitter truth about life. He embraces the virtues of adjustment, patience, and empathy, adheres to his limitations and is better disposed to overcome the hurdles of life. Moreover, the ordeal of a divorce enables a child to grasp the truth that henceforth his mother or father won’t always be there for him. And, it is this realization that makes him self-sufficient.

Allows each parent to be extra attentive: Most parents caught up in the daily chores of routine survival, can hardly spare some valuable time for their kids. After that, if marital disputes become an unavoidable appendage, then the word “family” gets reduced to a mere sham. The detachment enforced by a divorce enables each parent to think more about the welfare of his child. Consequently, the kid also benefits from the added vigilance imparted by each parent. He relishes the undivided attention and in the long term, has a better understanding of each parent.

Promotes adaptability through living in extended families: Often, a divorced father or mother remarries and thus there is the inclusion of household members such as a step brother or sister. Now, though initial acceptance might appear as a precarious threat, it is through the bittersweet co-mixing of both that the seeds of togetherness and resilience get germinated.

When a part of our body, say a leg or a finger gets infected and decays, the doctor generally recommends the portion to be severed so that the other organs remain safe. A broken marriage that shows no signs of recovery and only incites harshness, receives a somewhat similar resolution through a divorce. And it becomes particularly significant for the poor kid, for though there remains the agony of separation, there is the promise of a better life with new possibilities and resolute dreams.

Blended Family Problems: Pursuing the Means of Resolution

It is a truth seldom universally acknowledged that some relations best survive apart. Not quite clear? Imagine yourself taking fancy towards nurturing a harmless cat and your mother incurs diphtheria. Blended families suffer pretty much the same predicament. In major cases, middle-aged couples no doubt bring with them years of accumulated maturity; but there also drags with them mostly uninvited, the progeny of past relations. And it is this undiluted heterogeneous mixture that pops up recurrent hiccups of open resentment, aggression, and palpable foreboding that become rigidly nonresponsive to diverse parenting medications.Continue reading

Communication in Marriage: A Quick Look at the Problems and Their Solutions

Familiar with the movie, “What women want?’’ Well, in case no, let’s enlighten you a bit. Mel Gibson in this romantic comedy accidentally succeeds in gaining full access to the intricate thought pattern of a woman’s mind. This, rather bizarre boon enables him to remodel his way of communicating to women, metamorphosing his otherwise sassy, nonchalant ranting to a sophisticated and emphatic one. The outcome? His so called once reputed adversary falls for him head over heels.Continue reading

Teenage Rebellion: Probing Into the Causes and Ways to Handle it

Tagore, in one of his quaint short stories, has poignantly drawn a parallel between a teenager and an unloved stray dog; the point of assimilation strikingly apparent in the helplessness in which both are doomed. Akin to the dog, a teenager in most cases becomes a misfit in his family; his pounding discomforts are a source of perennial nuisance; he is scolded unreasonably at times, his emotions undermined and his barking stamped as rebellion.Continue reading

Setting boundaries with an intrusive mother-in-law

This article is a part of The Complete Guide to Dealing with your Mother-in-law – Chapter Six

It’s wonderful if your mother-in-law is your best buddy. But what if you are stuck with an intrusive mother-in-law who doesn’t respect your personal space? As I already said in one of my previous posts, the concept of boundaries does not exist in India as they do in the west. Mothers-in-law believe that they have all the rights on their son’s life, thus end up invading your private life.Continue reading