This is a part of The Complete Guide to Dealing with your Mother-in-law – Chapter Three, Part Two (Read Part One and three here)
She doesn’t respect your boundaries in spite of numerous requests:
Being jealous she never cares to respect your boundaries or your private life. Constant indulgence becomes a part of your life but she also cleverly disguises it. She fakes love to earn the trust of her son. Ultimately, your husband believes that your mother-in-law (his mom) loves you very much and subconsciously agrees that she’s the best.
She gets overly attached and emotionally dependant on her son:
If your MIL was never so dependent on your husband before your marriage, and now she is emotional over him, it’s clear that she’s jealous. She tries to grab as much attention as possible by playing the role of a victim.
She tries to dominate and control her son:
She makes her son dance to her tunes, not yours. She assumes her role as the decision maker at home. She controls her son’s actions and influences him more than you can ever imagine.
She competes with you:
And this kind of competition is very unhealthy. Since she feels threatened in her marriage, she competes with you in everything. In all areas like cooking, house-keeping, beauty, how much time you spend with your husband, she competes with you bitterly, making sure she wins.
You just feel it:
Your instinct knows that she hates you. You can feel it when she looks at you, when she talks, her body language and her choice of words just shows it.
She plays the victim mode:
A passive aggressive way to get her son’s attention is by playing the victim mode. This is a fool-proof way to get her son’s sympathy and attention. If you happen to lose your temper with her, by any chance, Bhoom! You are done. She starts shedding crocodile tears over her son’s shoulder in front of the whole family and you end up assuming the role of a villain.
She complains about you to her son:
Well, only some MILs do it; but when they complain, they make it sound so realistic and clever that your husband ends up believing her and confronting you. It’s reasonable if the issue is a serious one but if she complains for a silly reason about you, you can be sure she is downright jealous of you.
She gets passive-aggressive:
She starts nagging you, insulting your family, and sulking and criticizing you in secret while she fakes love in front of everyone. She uses dangerous weapons like the blame game or indirect insults which can make you go mad.
She ignores you a family gatherings, parties:
If your MIL takes extreme care to highlight her own children but totally neglects you, she is jealous and you can be sure of that. She knows negligence and being left out can hurt you (or anyone). It’s her childish way of saying, “I dislike you and I’m jealous of you”.
She tries to overpower you:
When for some reason your mother-in-law tries to dominate you, it means she is feeling extremely insecure and bitter. Being the second best to her son hurts, she could be plotting to get you under total control so that she can be the “queen” of the home again.