Do you have a feeling that your beloved doesn’t love you? Do you keep asking yourself “Does he love me anymore? Is he serious about the relationship?”
Before you jump to any conclusions, question yourself thoroughly. In case, you are simply imagining things, you may just be feeling insecure, and it’s got nothing to do with your beloved affection to you.
If you are sure that something is not going alright, go ahead with the article. I can tell you that it’s not a great feeling. Are those days gone when your beloved called you just to say I love you? Or watched you as you put on your makeup? Yes, relationships do become a little dull as days pass by, however, there’s a difference between that usual dullness and being left unloved and unwanted.
Questions to ask yourself:
- Is he keeping things to himself? Is not sharing with you like he used to do before?
- Is he getting angry or touchy too often? Is he exploding at you for the slightest emotion?
- Is he keeping you distant from physical intimacy?
- Is he abusing you verbally in front of everyone?
- Is he insulting or making you feel guilty?
- Is he compromising for things as he used to do before?
- Is he not answering your calls anymore?
- Is he close to another colleague or friend and spending more time with her?
- Is your gut telling you that something is not right?
- Is he blaming you often? Is he being unjust?
- Is he comparing you with other girls and making you feel hurt? Is he spending a lot of time on phone, speaking in a hushed voice?
- Is he coming home late every night (without explaining you the reason for his lateness)?
- Is he behaving like a totally new person?
- Are you not hanging out as often as you used to?
- Are you left alone in spite of your numerous requests? Does he ignore you even while you feel depressed, or when he finds you crying?
- Do you feel your beloved has changed drastically? Do you feel that he’s no more loyal to you?
- (If you not a married couple, then) Is he meeting you as often as you used to?
As you take time to answer the questions above, you will get a brief picture of where your marriage is going. You can easily analyze the situation.
Some reasons why men may lose interest in love.
Below are the probable causes that your husband or boyfriend lost interest in you.
Need for power and control:
Are you too dominating in your relationship? If so, watch out. If you are exercising too much control over his decisions or opinions, then why would he love you? This problem gets even more huge when your companion is power-hungry too.
Anger or hatred towards you:
If you have done something that triggered anger or hatred towards you, this situation might be possible. He might abandon you emotionally. Have you insulted someone close to him? Or have you hurt him with painful words? Think over.
If either of you feel like you want to end the relationship, then loss of interest might be possible. Does he want to end your relationship and move on?
Birth of kids:
Undergoing pregnancy and child-birth can sometimes trigger hormonal imbalances in a woman. She craves for more love and personal affection, while everyone’s focus would be on the baby. This might make you feel that your spouse doesn’t love you anymore, now that he has his kid born. This is also a temporary problem and can be easily solved.
Being too tired or busy:
Being too busy wears out a person so much he loses interest in everything, not specifically you. Is he having a hard time at work since weeks/months? If so, he’s only too tired to acknowledge your feelings. Fortunately, this can be easily cured.
The fact is that a bad sex life is not the main cause of separation, most of the time. However, it can lead to a dull marriage, especially if you are in your first five years of marriage.
If he found someone else interesting than you or if he wishes to start a relationship with another woman, he suddenly loses interest in you. Infidelity is one of the most common reasons for a person to lose interest in his spouse / girlfriend.
Handling the situation
Being unwanted by your beloved is the most horrible feeling in the world. It’s better to make the head or tail of it, rather than sitting and feeling miserable every day. If the reason is something like sex, or being busy, then you can easily rekindle your romance. But if you don’t know why he doesn’t love you anymore, then it’s time to take action.
Rekindle your romance:
Try rekindling your romance by surprising your partner, expressing your love and getting intimate. Go on a vacation together and get back your spouse’s old self. May be he’s too busy or tired, or badly needs a vacation. If you have kids, make arrangements to have someone babysit them while you are away. Sometimes a simple vacation, simple acts of love and affection can do wonders.
Approach him directly:
Asking him directly is the best way to know what the matter is. Start politely and gently. Have a clear and unbiased discussion. Don’t resort to name calling or abusing. A better communication will help solve many problems. Ask him why he’s lost interest in you. If the problem is something which you both can solve, then do the same.
Seek a marital counsellor:
If you have constant fights and arguments rather than focusing on a solution to your marriage, then seek professional help. If your partner is unwilling to come to a counsellor, then go alone. Explain your situation. A professional help is definitely worth it.
Be prepared for the worst:
Sorry for being negative, but be prepared to hear the worst news while you talk to him. If he suggests a divorce or a breakup, don’t plead him to accept you back. You can’t go on existing like an empty shell forever. Life has got a meaning only when there’s love. Instead of being in a place where you are unwanted, it’s better to accept the situation and move on.
Take a break:
The question “Does he love me anymore?” sometimes can mean that you don’t trust your partner enough. Perhaps you are stressed out. Or maybe you are fed up with the way things are running. Take a break. Go on a vacation with your friends. Just chill and have fun. Forget about all your worries. Once your mind is clear, things start to make more sense to you. If your spouse misses you when you come back, then wow! It means he does love you. So take a chill pill.
Observe him for any signs of infidelity:
Is he cheating on you? Closely observe his pattern and behaviour. You are sure to get some clues once you’ve observed his patterns for a couple of days. But don’t look suspicious. If he’s an innocent one, you end up breaking his trust and your marriage.
In case he’s found enjoying another girl’s affection (whether a physical affair or an emotional affair), you can decide what to do. Whether you tolerate infidelity or not, its is totally up to you.
Contemplate on your own actions:
Have you done something that badly hurt him? Did you insult his mom, sibling or did you make him terribly angry? Then the mistake is yours. Think of your own actions and be sensible. Do you deserve him an apology? If so, throw your stubbornness out of the window and sincerely apologise. Accepting your own mistakes makes you a better and a humble person.