A familiar proverb state, “Better be alone than in bad company.” Well, the distressing reality of a divorce can perhaps be interpreted in a similar way. The separation of parents is indeed a painful affair for a kid, but what about the trauma that he may have endured due to daily bickering, the ceaseless hurling of mean abuses and at times, even fatal domestic violence between emotionally estranged parents? It then becomes imperative for the child that such uncompromising parents get alienated by a divorce.
How many children are affected by divorce: Examining the statistics
Several reports claim that nearly 50% of American children, born at present, are likely to witness parental divorce even before they turn 18. According to another research, one, out of ten kids of divorced parents, may witness them getting divorced again about three or more times!
This article seeks to analyze the positive consequences of divorce on children so that the experience, even though bitter, can be calmly accepted and survived.
The positive impact of divorce on children: An estimation
Assures a healthy environment: Recurrent observation of squabbles and ego clashes between parents builds up irritation and dejection in a child, eventually morphing him into a perpetually disconcerted individual, a misfit in any society. A divorce signifies a permanent termination of such power struggles and the child being distanced, no longer has to cringe in seclusion or make plaintive attempts to douse the bitter outburst. In fact, except the prickling remembrance of the split, there is nothing that can impede his natural emotional growth.
Aids in psychological growth: Often, it has been observed that children that go through the divorce of parents emerge more mature than those, nurtured amidst the protective guidance of both parents. While tackling unhappy parents, a child learns the bitter truth about life. He embraces the virtues of adjustment, patience, and empathy, adheres to his limitations and is better disposed to overcome the hurdles of life. Moreover, the ordeal of a divorce enables a child to grasp the truth that henceforth his mother or father won’t always be there for him. And, it is this realization that makes him self-sufficient.
Allows each parent to be extra attentive: Most parents caught up in the daily chores of routine survival, can hardly spare some valuable time for their kids. After that, if marital disputes become an unavoidable appendage, then the word “family” gets reduced to a mere sham. The detachment enforced by a divorce enables each parent to think more about the welfare of his child. Consequently, the kid also benefits from the added vigilance imparted by each parent. He relishes the undivided attention and in the long term, has a better understanding of each parent.
Promotes adaptability through living in extended families: Often, a divorced father or mother remarries and thus there is the inclusion of household members such as a step brother or sister. Now, though initial acceptance might appear as a precarious threat, it is through the bittersweet co-mixing of both that the seeds of togetherness and resilience get germinated.
When a part of our body, say a leg or a finger gets infected and decays, the doctor generally recommends the portion to be severed so that the other organs remain safe. A broken marriage that shows no signs of recovery and only incites harshness, receives a somewhat similar resolution through a divorce. And it becomes particularly significant for the poor kid, for though there remains the agony of separation, there is the promise of a better life with new possibilities and resolute dreams.