Good relationship advice becomes useful when it helps you decide what to say or do next. Use this guide as a starting point, adapt it to your circumstances, and leave room for both partners to describe the situation differently.
Agree privately before responding publicly
A boundary is easier to hold when the couple has already decided what they can offer. Talk about the request away from the family conversation, especially when either person feels pressured to answer quickly.
Let each partner lead with their own family
When practical and safe, the person whose family is involved should deliver the shared decision. This keeps the message direct and reduces the chance that a spouse becomes the convenient villain.
Make the limit concrete
Clear boundaries describe what you will do: when you can visit, what information stays private, or how much notice you need. Long defenses invite negotiation and can obscure the actual limit.
Try this together
Choose one idea from this guide and describe what it would look like in your actual week. Keep the first experiment small enough that both people can tell whether it helped.